An Open Letter to my Murdered Aunt.

At first I was confused, we all were. Not hearing from you for days made us wonder whether you had actually given up and run away like he said… But as the days went on we realized something was wrong. We knew you would never do that to the ones you loved. We couldn’t feel you with us… So the search began. We went from days to weeks, searching high and low for any trace of you. Pleading to the public to help us find you.

And then we did. We found you in a culvert just outside of Saskatoon’s city limits. Wrapped in poly and frozen in the ice, your body was almost perfectly preserved despite the fact that you were not the lively, loud, and rambunctious aunt Dorothy I once knew- you were dead. You were murdered. 

Blunt force trauma to the back of the head, hands bound your back and strangled to death. The rope was still around your hands and neck when the investigators found you. Didn't even bother disposing of the evidence before he disposed of you.

You were murdered by a man that told you he loved you. A man that helped you raise two bright and beautiful children. A man so overcome with jealousy and hatred because of a marriage that was once full of love, had now fallen apart. The ultimate crime of passion. Although this crime of passion wasn't strictly about losing the love of his life. This crime of passion was also based on the fact that you chose to bed BLACK men, not white like him. 

He chose to let the pigment of someones skin turn him into a monster for a split second. He didn't fight to get you back, instead he told you to stay away. And stay away you did because he put you away for good.

No amount of words can ever describe the way that made us feel. The roller coaster of emotions- sadness, anger, confusion… relief. Sad that our nightmare had come true and that you were actually gone. Angry at the person who would do this to someone we had so much love for. Confused that someone felt so much hatred towards you that it would come down to this. And relieved… Relieved that you were finally found and the searching didn’t need to go on. Relieved that we’d gotten a little bit of closure.

Friday, November 11^th, 2011 we lost you. Wednesday, January 4^th, 2012 we found you. Friday, January 13^th, 2012 we put you to rest and said our goodbyes. Monday, April 28^th, 2014 your trial began. Thursday, May 15^th, 2014 your trial ended. Justice has been served.

It’s time for us all to live the life you would have wanted us to live. No more looking back at the past, only looking forward to the future at what party we might crash next.

We love you more and more each day.

Cheers, Aunty Dot <3

Worthy of Mention

I went to church tonight. Second time this week actually.

Our faith assignment has caused me to go to Truth and Life Worship Centre both yesterday for service and tonight for praise team practice.

The music in this church is amazing. The songs got stuck in my head instantly.

I went to the Rihanna concert tonight.

Yet I'm home now and the songs from church are still in my head.

It's amazing how powerful some bass lines can be.

At first I was slightly uncomfortable with this assignment. But like most of the assignments we are given in J, I realize I'm glad I did it once it's done.

I doubt I'll be a regular church-goer after this assignment is complete. But it was nice to get a taste of the music I grew up with. I forgot what it was like.

You down with IPP? I'm done with IPP.

One milestone down. One more to go.

IPPP week is over. All of the hard work Sam and I did over the last year has finally paid off.

I don't think I ever thought planning the IPP presentations would be as hard as it was.

We held two socials, a curling bonspiel, and five billion bake sales to raise the money we needed for the Convention Centre. On top of that we had sponsor letters to write, emails to send, phone calls to make, programs to design, and 60+ second year students to coordinate.

Last week was the most intense week ever.

I don't think I slept until Friday night.

I literally was having IPPP nightmares every night of the week.

I always had the same dream about ten times over with a twisted ending.

One memorable ending was Bethany standing up in the middle of our speech and telling me to wrap it up because she wanted to go to Shannon's. And then she just started walking out with everyone following suit.

I mean, we all wanted to go to Shannon's Irish Pub too Beth, but you didn't have to be so mean about it!

Nevertheless. The IPPPs are over. I feel like I've lost 10000000000 lbs. It's a fantastic feeling if you ask me.

For the most part our week went by pretty successfully. There were a few technical difficulties that at the time seemed like disasters- but we regrouped. Sam and I are still alive.

Now that the IPPPs are done. I have one more thing to do before finding a big girl job- graduate.

What works? What doesn't?

In first year CreComm we had to read Journey For Justice: How Project Angel Cracked the Candace Derksen Case for journalism class. A novel written by Mike McIntyre about the disappearance of a girl walking home from school and the years it took to solve the mystery of her murder.

This year we read the same story, but from Mama's point of view.

Wilma Derksen is Candace's mother. She wrote a book called, "Have You Seen Candace? A Mothers True Story of Coping with the Murder of Her Daughter."

What works in this book?
I think the emotional aspect of this book is what makes it so captivating. What's more real than the raw emotions a mother has to deal with after finding out that her daughter has not only been missing but has been found murdered? Exactly. Nothing more real than that.

What doesn't work? Why?
The only trouble I had with reading this book was that Wilma wrote in a past tense a lot. There was one point in the book where every sentence for two paragraphs had the word, "had."

What effect did reading Wilma's book have on you?
Reading 'Have You Seen Candace?' made me a little more aware of my surroundings. I'm not afraid of Winnipeg or certain areas of the city but I feel like I should be more alert in some of the situations I put myself in. Like when it's dark outside and I'm walking by myself I should pay attention to what's going on around me instead of getting lost in my headphones. It also made me realize how it can happen to anyone. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would know of anyone being murdered. But just last year my own aunty went missing for a month before we found her dead. She too was murdered. There are suspects in custody but trial keeps getting postponed. It's frustrating because I just want justice to be served to the person that killed my beautiful aunty. Reading this book made me realize me and my family aren't alone in a situation like this. There are many people that are in the same boat as us.

How does this book compare to Mike's?
Well quite frankly I enjoyed it a little more than Journey for Justice. Mike basically told Wilma's story again. She had already written her book and he took some excerpts from it. He also bogged his book down with too much doctor terminology from the Grant trial. In one section of the book it was pretty much psychiatrist notes about Grant's mental condition and it was all just too much for my little brain to comprehend. Also at one point of his book there is the exact same paragraph as a previous chapter. It was copy pasted or something. Weird? I think so.

What are your reactions to our discussion with Wilma Derksen?
She is the sweetest, most sincere, soft spoken woman I think I've ever met. How you can talk about something so traumatizing with such calmness is baffling to me. She was so open about everything. I think it takes a really strong person to be like that. She was a nice lady.

Good girls don't miss Church

I went to the Eric Church concert on Thursday. It was fantastic.

A few weeks ago my classmate had asked me if I wanted to go to Eric Church with a press pass. Obviously I said yes. The man is a god. So beautiful to look at. His voice melts my heart.

I have written for The Projector a time or two and I guess that was good enough to get a press pass to the concert.

Working in this industry can have its perks apparently! Like getting to take pictures for the first three songs of his set from the Pit! I was right up in there. It was glorious. I felt legit.

I'm so ready for the real world it's not even funny. I want to get out there and gain all the knowledge and expertise I can before this melon of mine stops absorbing information as quick as it does now.

Considering I worked every day of reading week except for one- going to the Eric Church concert for free was the best thing about it.

Thanks Matt and Tyler, you guys is da bomb dignity fa shoooo.

Tea Time.

In a packed ballroom at the Fort Garry Hotel the most beautiful and bravest girl I know got up in front of 450 people and told them about her struggle with anorexia and bulimia.

Emily Doer held her IPP event this weekend. A tea party called Tea for E|D.

I can't even imagine the courage it took to walk up to a podium and tell people that you battled eating disorders through your late teens and early twenties.

Emily did all of this and more with so much class. It was such a well put together event I don't think Emily could have asked for anything more.

The keynote speaker was a perfect fit for the occasion and such an inspiration to listen to. The dancer was moving, and the singer made everyone in the room feel beautiful with her songs.

Emily was so busy all afternoon running around to every table making sure to thank every person that had come to support her event for such a great cause. Not because she felt she had to, but because that's just Emily, someone who will go out of her way to acknowledge you.

She did interviews with major Winnipeg news outlets and held herself together for all of them. Although there was some good b-roll of her "snotting" as she calls it.

The publicity her event got is something most people could only ever hope for. It was well-deserved.

Emily highlighted such a scary and life threatening disease on Sunday. She let people into her personal life and opened up about the struggles that come with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. How the diseases are seen as such a taboo to not only the people fighting with them, but the people around them.

For someone who knew Emily while she was going through this dark period of her life- I can honestly say I had no idea it was happening. I never saw Emily on a regular basis but I did see her from time to time. I'm sure there were more red flags and signs for her closer friends and family but even then, how do you approach someone about an eating disorder? The last thing you want to do is offend someone- but at the same time you don't want to keep quiet about it.

There will always be some things in life that you may not ever understand. Eating disorders may be one of those things. But if you see someone you love struggling with an eating disorder please don't stay quiet. The fatality rate from eating disorders increases more and more every year in both men and women.

All of the proceeds from her event including silent auction and raffle prizes are going to the Health Sciences Centre and the patient program it offers to people with eating disorders.

Emily, I love you so much. You are such a strong and beautiful woman inside and out. I'm so glad you are happy and healthy today. Know that you are loved and supported by everyone surrounding you. Your successful tea is just a preview of how successful your life will be after CreComm. I am so proud of you. (You go girl!)

Awesome.

Being a real journalist is starting to feel like real life.

I do realize I'm not there yet, but I can feel it. With the hockey season now in action, my classmates have been given the opportunity to intern at Jets home games.

Awesome.

Not only awesome because they get to watch Jets games for free from the press box. But awesome because I saw Lauren's face on TSN! How awesome would it be to have your face on TSN? That is my dream. To have my very own face on TSN every weekday. Heck yes.

Besides the fact that I've seen many of my classmates on tv already, it's cool to see where the year before us is now. For instance Krystalle is with CBC already- ballin'. That is honestly the coolest thing ever.

Another thing that is nice is the media in Winnipeg. They treat us like real people. When we're out at a presser and go for the huddle of reporters and cameras in the scrum those guys will let you in.

It really makes you respect the program you're in when you see how seriously it's taken by the industry we'll eventually work in.

The other day I was out shooting a story for Broadcast J and screwed up my stand up about six times. I was getting frustrated because I'd nailed the first one perfectly, but someone walked through my shot at the end and ruined it. Mitchell Clinton saw how pissed off I was and was like, "it's okay! It took me like nine times too!"

That put a smile on my face. What an awesome guy. He didn't have to encourage me at all. But he did. Because he's a part of the CreComm mafia. He knows what's up.

While on the very same shoot ChrisD snapped a picture of Mark and I and tweeted it out. Calling us "hard working." Also awesome. Everyone knows ChrisD.

Maybe one day everybody will know me.

"@ChrisDca: Hardworking #CreComm students shooting a story on the warming huts @TheForks earlier today. @RRCLiveat5"